The Impossible

I am dusting off the cobwebs of this blog.  I have had a post rolling around my head for months.  Now that I am on the eve of meeting Baby Nelson #3 I am finally taking the time to write it.  As Jon and I prayed about what God would have for our family we both have felt complete peace about having three biological kids.  After a 2.5 year struggle conceiving Alea I thought we would never have to face the roller coaster and heartbreak of infertility.  Don’t get me wrong I know God taught me so much in that journey leading up to Alea and also gave me the opportunity empathize and ministry to other woman facing the same thing.  However, I thought that journey was over in the past especially when Nehemiah was not a struggle to have.  When Jon and I decide to start trying for baby 3 we quickly realized we found ourselves back on this roller coaster called infertility and I was pretty sure I just wanted to get off.  I didn’t know if I was strong enough to ride the emotions.  Why a roller coaster you ask?  Well with infertility you are broken up in segments in a given month.  You have highs and lows.  The first few weeks you are resolved this will be the month, you are hopeful and determine to make it work.  Then you hit the “window” and try your best to make sure everything you know to do is done.  Then you hit the dreaded waiting weeks.  These might be the hardest because your mind plays tricks on you.  Anything that happens out of a norm makes you think this is it, your pregnant.  You start to question everything and you can’t help yourself you are hopeful and even dare I say dreaming of what maybe.  Then the waiting ends.  Every trip to the bathroom you wonder will this be the good news or bad.  If it’s the bad and you in fact are not pregnant you are crushed.  I mean truly crushed.  You wonder what you did wrong.  You wonder what is wrong with my body.  You wonder am I pushing something that God doesn’t even want?  You mourn for what could have been.  You tell yourself you are getting off this ride it’s just not worth it.  You cry.  You get angry as it seems so easy for so many.  You throw a tantrum (maybe that was just me).  You work really hard to process all the emotions that overwhelming flood you.  Then you start the accent to hopeful determine stage again.  It’s not a fun ride.  I beg you if you have a friend on this ride-  love on them!  So all this to say we were on that ride again.  We decide to go back to the same Dr. we loved with Alea.  We started some medicine to help with the process.  This required me to see my doctor at a certain point in my cycle.  In April I went to that check up and was not able to see my doctor so the doctor  I did see what overly discouraging questioning the plan of actions and my need for another baby.  I left there pretty discourage and even more so a few days later when I got the call telling me based on the blood work it was not possible for me to be pregnant that month.  My doctor called me when he return from vacation.  (How great to have a doctor that cares enough to make a personal call).  I had been praying God would give me some encouragement that we were doing the right thing in pursuing this as I felt so unsure at that point.  Our doctor encouraged me so much and was very affirmative that we would be able to get this figured out.  I did ask “is it true that this month there is no way I can be pregnant”.  He said “Heather it’s impossible”.  I said “100% sure?”  He said “I am sorry but it’s simply impossible”.  As the weeks progressed I was missing the biggest indicator of being pregnant. One day I decide to take a home pregnancy test.  Up to this point I had never had a positive one (other two had to have blood test to confirm).  It came out positive.  I was shocked.  I showed Jon, he was confused.  First I was told IMPOSSIBLE, second we have never had a positive home pregnancy test.   I went and got another one and it too was positive.  I was really pregnant.  GOD MADE POSSIBLE WHAT WAS IMPOSSIBLE!!!  This baby, this gift, was by no accident he or she was divinely given to us to bring God glory.  We have already prayed this baby’s life would reflect that.  Even though it has been my most demanding pregnancy I don’t want to forget the story of how this baby came to be.  I don’t want to stop praising God for the miracle of this little one.  I finally get to see his or her  face tomorrow and I know Jon and I will be in worship to the one who gave us the impossible.

My Kansas City Bucket List

Before we moved I had a few “must go” places.  Crown Center Fountains was one of them. I am really glad we went because shortly after we moved they banned people from running through them.  My kids had a blast doing it.  I was glad Tia was there to get wet with them so I could take some photos.  It will be a great memory!! I know I have a lot of catching up to do, stay tuned for; Nehemiah’s 18 month photos, Nehemiah’s first haircut and  our Jefferson City house story.  In the meantime enjoy some fountain photos.

A move

 

I love, love, love Kansas City.  I have lived here for the last 11 years.  It’s home.  I love the people that are like family to us here.  I love the community that loves on us, supports us and lifts us up.  I love the churches I have been apart of while being here.  That all being said.  I knew this day was coming.  In fact for the last three years we knew a move was on it’s way.  It’s been a bumpy three years of almost moves, and trusting God’s plan even in the answer No.  Anyway all that to say, we are moving.  Jon  has accepted the 2 year Residency/ Internship at Concord Baptist Church (CBC) in Jefferson City, MO. This will be an amazing opportunity for him as he will have the opportunity to learn from someone who has been in a Senior Leadership position for over 20 years and is willing to train Jon along with Concord’s wonderful staff. Jon will also begin working toward his 1st Masters degree while we are there. This all begins at the beginning of June, which means that our family will be moving in a very short 7 weeks (or so).  The common question I get asked is “how are you feeling”.  My most honest answer is this: Overwhelmed, very excited for my husband, glad for some stability, looking forward to a new rhythm for my family, but truly grieving leaving friends that have held us up in SO many ways the last 3 years. I look over the last 3 years and as I would never choose to live these again I know that I understand my Lord in a way I would have not if my journey had been different.  He has proven over and over again that He is a God of details.  He has proven to be alive and well in our lives each step of the way.  I will look back on this waiting time as opportunity He took to grow me, my family and my marriage in a way only He could.  I will miss Kansas City desperately.  However, God has really been challenging my heart that my life is not my own.  My purpose is to bring Him glory.  He knows what will happen through my life to bring Him glory in Jefferson City.  I get to be His vessel.  He gets to lay out  new ministry opportunities and allow us to love more people.   He is allowing the chance for new people to speak into our lives.  He has proven Himself to be trust worthy in our lives and I know He will continue.

He is risen!

Easter is one of my favorite events.  It’s the essential element to Christianity.  If Christ never rose from the dead, his death would have not mattered.  If He never conquered death then He would not have the ability to conquer sin.  It’s a humbling process to think what He endured on Good Friday.  What He did for me.  The fact is He would have gone through indescribable agony just for me.  He would do the very same thing for you.  You see He has a never stopping, never giving up, unbreaking always and forever love for YOU!  Let that change your life today.  He is risen, he is rise indeed!

 

Of course Easter comes with cute clothes.  I will put this recommendation out there.  Do not attempt to photograph your children at a place with a pond by yourself.  Nobody ended up in the pond but we had some rather close calls.  Even though it was a “taxing” photo session, I am madly in love with these two cuties.  My heart fills with joy that I get to be called their mama.  I think I fail them daily but am honor still to take on the challenge to shape and lead these babies.  The Lord gave me a unbelievable responsibility and I have to lay them at His feet and accomplish it   only through His strength!

 

Wedding Day

As a wedding photographer, I have never seen a bride not look absolutely beautiful on her wedding day.  There is something about a bride on her wedding day.  She glows, all of her finest features shine.  For that moment in time she everything she dreamed that she would be.  This has gotten me thinking a lot about what we as Christ’s bride looks like.  Through the experiences Jon and I have had over the last 2.5 years we have experienced how ugly the bride of Christ can be. We could get stuck on that, we could stay there. Here is the thing, His bride is made up of sinners, of ugly people who don’t deserve to be a bride.  We don’t even deserve to be invited to the wedding. I keep going back to this song by Casting Crown.  It’s called “Wedding Day”.  I love the imagery this song brings forth. Since Jesus came and lived a perfect life, died for us as sinners,  took our sins on His shoulders that is only is why we can even be His bride.   It’s because of Jesus we can look forward to His return “The Wedding Day”.  It’s because of Jesus that no matter what sin that marks you He sets you free from it.  He dries your tears, wins your heart and tells you that you are beautiful.  Yes, you the sinner who thinks they can’t be forgiven.  He sees you as His bride, wearing white and as beautiful.  You are forgiven!  One day we will be face to face with Jesus, we will fully grasp that He loves us and has redeemed us.  It makes me excited for that Wedding Day and thankful that Christ has a bride of redeemed people because of Him, that looks beautiful on her wedding day.

“Wedding Day” – Casting Crowns

[Verse 1:]
There’s a stirring in the throne room
And all creation holds it’s breath
Waiting now to see the bride groom
Wondering how the bride will dress
And she wears white
And she knows that she’s undeserving
She bears the shame of history
But this worn and weary maiden
Is not the bride that he sees
And she wears white, head to toe
But only he could make it so

[Chorus:]
When someone dries your tears
When someone wins your heart
And says your beautiful
When you don’t know you are
And all you’ve longed to see
Is written on his face
When love has come and finally set you free
On that wedding day
On that wedding day

[Verse 2:]
She has danced in golden castles
And she has crawled through beggar’s dust
But today she stands before him
And she wears his righteousness
And she will be who he adores
This is what he made her for

[Chorus]

[Bridge:]
When the hand that bears the only scars
And heaven touch her face
And the last tears she’ll ever cry
Are finally wiped away
And the clouds roll back as he takes her hand
And walks her through the gates
Forever we will reign

[Chorus]

Alea’s 3 year session

Check out Alea’s 3 year session on my photography blog  www.heathernelsonphotography.wordpress.com

Alea turns 3

I am in need of catching up and posting so many happening in the last few months.  However, I am going to start with the most recent and work my way back.  Alea turned 3 year old.  It’s been an amazing 3 years and it has happened SO quickly.  She changes, learns and surprises us daily.  She is a pretty remarkable little girl.  I know we are just a bit bias but we are her parents we get to be.  She has obtained her daddy’s inquisitive mind and is constantly asking “why?”.   She can spell her name and will tell you her name is AleaNaomiNelson (very quickly all together), even if you don’t ask.  She loves her brother and wants to help take care of him.  She is quick to cuddle up to hear a good book.  We are still working on potty training and are currently having more successes then accidents.  Her answer to what she wants to be when she grows up is “A Chef”.  She is very much into pretend play,  often caring for her babies: taking them to church, giving them baths, feeding them, or just loving on their ouchies. She is slightly vehicle obsessed.  She loves to see trains, buses, hot air balloons, motorcycles, cars but most of all Fire Trucks!  She gets SO excited when she sees them.  She requested her birthday cake to be a fire truck.  I happen to know a gift cake maker that was willing to make Alea a firetruck cake.  It was the hit of the party and the highlight for Alea.  It was great to have friends and family come to celebrate our sweet girl.  She had lots of fun running around and playing with her friends.  The park we had it at comes equipped with an awesome playground that wore the kids out. We found out at her party that Nehemiah loves watermelon as he sucked on a giant piece for a very long time. It was fun celebration of our girl.  We are truly blessed with this little girl and all that God created her to be.

 

 

 

My family

It’s a pretty rare occasion for my entire family to get together.  Even this time we were missing a few key people (like Jon) however to help mom celebrate her 60th birthday we slipped in a family photo.  It was one of her requests, you would think she has a daughter who is a professional photographer or something!  We had a fun weekend getting to enjoy my younger brother being back in the states for a little bit before heading back to Amsterdam.  We commemorated my mom’s 60th  by going to a nice dinner.  We also slipped in a celebration for Andy and Hallie’s birthday the next day as well.  We had near perfect weather and just a really relaxing enjoyable weekend.

Nehemiah’s monthly photos

I have been taking monthly photos of Nehemiah.  It has been a great experience that I really recommend. Each month I take his photo on his monthly birthday.  On the opposite of the card is a place to write information for that month.  I am terrible about writing things down so for me it’s been so easy to take a few moments to write down what has happen in his life that month.  I will someday transfer it to his baby book but at least I have it down for the moment.  It’s also been a great way to see how much he has changed each month.  It’s so hard to believe our little man was born six months ago.  It’s gone SO very fast.  He has a busy few weeks of life.  All in the last two weeks he has started to roll both ways, roll across the room, sitting up by himself, and started cereal.  Amazing how he catches on to one thing and it leads to so much more.  He is a delightful little boy and a joy to have in our life!

I got the photo cards from http://www.marshbaby.com/

Easter

Here a few photos of the babes from Easter.